"Healthy Home During COVID"

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Managing Stress, Anxiety, and Parenting Under Covid-19 by Dr. Lisa Damour

Dr. Lisa Damour gave a webinar entitled, Managing Stress, Anxiety, and Parenting Under Covid-19.  Below are a number of key takeaways from the webinar. 

Managing Anxiety

• Don't overestimate the danger you fear or underestimate your ability to deal with it.
• Stress and anxiety are normal and healthy, as they help us adapt. Stress and anxiety, however, can reach unhealthy levels. When they do, wrap yourself in your support system. 

Parenting under Covid-19 Pressures

• Children and teens are resilient, and these unprecedented times may actually nurture growth in resiliency. 
• Model how you want your child to think about a situation. Is this the end of the world, or will we get past this?  Is this horrible, or just an inconvenience? Children read adults' cues, especially as they look for guidance on how to manage this novel situation. 
• It is beneficial to focus on "buffering" chronic stress through seeking breaks and planning for fun activities.
• Make things predictable; regular start time, lunch time, etc., whenever possible, can be beneficial.
• Offer independence where possible. This is incredibly important and helps children feel in control and a sense of accomplishment. Their self-esteem is reliant on this. When they have jobs around the house they know their family needs them. When we trust them they know they are trustworthy. Dr. Damour suggests giving them a space to be "in charge."

Handling a Meltdown in 9, yes 9, easy steps! 

(It hopefully won't take all 9 but they are there if you need them!)

1. Listen without interrupting
2. Offer sincere empathy
3. Validate distress
4. Support positive coping (see below)
5. Express non-dismissive confidence ("This is hard, but I know you can handle it.")
6. Offer to help problem-solve (offer is the key word here- do not jump to this step until you have completed 1-5)
7. Divide the problem into categories: things that can change and things that can't
8. Brainstorm solutions to those that can change
9. Support acceptance of what cannot

Positive Coping Strategies for All

We as adults must do these things for ourselves in order to protect our children. We can ask ourselves and our children, "What do you need to do to feel better?"

• Alternative means of social connection
• Happy distractions (a book, painting, family movie time, etc.)
• Self-care (mental, physical, spiritual)
• Caring for others
• Following the Golden Rule, but also in reverse: treat yourself as you would treat a friend

Reassurance

A question was asked about reassuring a child if a parent is a front line worker (or just going out in public). Dr. Damour stressed the importance of honesty and the need to find "the lyrics and the tune." Be honest. For example, "I take every precaution at work because I know it is important for my health." Most importantly, we need to avoid promising what we cannot deliver. That is the lyrics part. For the tune, keep upbeat, positive, and confident. Our children pick up on our subtle messages. As parents, our stress and anxieties can feed children's stress and anxieties.

Worries...Grief...Stress...OH MY!

Try this Emotional Check-in Worksheet with your child to help connect with them emotionally during this difficult time.

*Strategies for helping children cope with stress or anxiety:  Worry Cup and Square Breathing

Practice Mindful Breathing for 5 minutes using this video.  

Check out this Coping Calendar and try to do an activity with your family each day.

Additional Parent Resources

*Video from AMITA Behavioral Health: “Parenting During A Period of Social Distancing: Promoting Emotional Wellness and Resiliency.” https://safeyoutube.net/w/Fes6
  
*NASP article- Parent tips/resources about Coronavirus:
https://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/school-climate-safety-and-crisis/health-crisis-resources/talking-to-children-about-covid-19-(coronavirus)-a-parent-resource

*Call4Calm- Illinois Department of Human Services Free  and Anonymous Support Line
         Speak with a mental health professional- text the word “TALK” or “HABLAR” (for Spanish speakers) to 552-020. Within 24 hours, that individual will receive a call from a mental health professional employed by a local community health center. People can also text other terms, like “unemployment” or “food” or “shelter” to the same number to receive information on how to navigate and access supports and services.

Lighthouse Emotional Wellness is providing virtual therapy sessions for individuals, couples, and families.

E-Learning Social Story

It may be difficult for children and parents to transition to home schooling.  Not seeing friends everyday, missing specials, and learning from parents instead of teachers.  The following SOCIAL STORY can help guide you through the e-learning process with your child.

Books for the MIND, BODY, and SOUL

Coping/Calming Strategies (Anxiety/Stress)

"Wemberly Worried" by Kevin Henkes

"The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn

"When My Worries Get Too Big!" by Karl Dunn Buron

"Listening to My Body" by Gabi Garcia

"Listening to My Heart" by Gabi Garcia

"David and the Worry Beast" by Anne Marie Guanci

"Don't Be Afraid to Drop" by Julia Cook

"Wilma Jean the Worry Machine" by Julia Cook

"The Color Monster:  A Story about Emotions" by Anna Llenas

"In My Heart:  A Book of Feelings" by Jo Witek

"A Little Spot of Anxiety:  A Story About Calming Your Worries" by Diane Alber

Friendship Skills

"The Rainbow Fish" by Marcus Pfister

"Making Friends is an Art" by Julia Cook

"Tease Monster" by Julia Cook

"Mean Jean the Recess Queen" by Alexis O'Neill

"How to be a Friend" by Laurie Krasny Brown

"The Judgmental Flower" by Julia Cook

"Bully B.E.A.N.S" by Julia Cook

Listening Skills

"What Should Danny Do? School Day (The Power to Choose Series) by Adir Levy and Ganit Levy? 
"What Were You Thinking?: Learning to Control Your Impulses (Executive Function)" by Bryan Smith and Lisa M. Griffin
"I Just Don't Like the Sound of No!" by Julia Cook

"My Mouth is a Volcano" by Julia Cook

"Whole Body Listening Larry at Home" by Kristen Wilson & Elizabeth Sautter

"Whole Body Listening Larry at School" by Elizabeth Sautter & Kristen Wilson

"Freddy the Fly Motormouth:  A Story about Learning to Listen" by Kimberly Delude